June 24, 2013
“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.”
Three years have gone past and I still find myself falling in love with you more and more each day. I’ll never forget that summer, the first time I saw you. That dirty-blondish, almost brown faux-hawk, those beautiful hazel eyes and that smile that I will never be able to forget. So what came to mind? “He’s really attractive. Douche bag.”
I’ll admit, your looks are intimidating. I was shocked to find that your personality matched your striking good looks. From your looks to your personality, I was completely captivated. And I was terrified.
Falling in love has always been my biggest fear, so I tried avoiding serious relationships at all costs. But everything about you just screamed perfection. The way you looked at me, the way you smiled at me, the words you said to me– you had the whole package. I felt myself falling in love with you, but I tried stopping myself. I tried walking away so many times, but you just kept luring me in. That was it. Two weeks. I was in love.
I’ll never forget the first time you told me you loved me. There you were, 2,000 miles away. It was still the summer and I had some family friends in town from who-knows-what state. We were at dinner and I felt a buzz in my purse, only to find a screen lit up with your name. The message read, “Andrea…” I shook my head and knew what was coming for me. This was exactly why I tried walking away when I could. I felt the tears about to rush out and excused myself for the restroom. I was dreading the continuation of the ellipsis. My phone buzzed again. You.
Ethan: I love you.
I didn’t know what to say. I knew I loved you too, but I wasn’t sure if you were serious. I didn’t know whether to say it back or to play it cool. But I figured I’d be honest with myself, and more importantly you.
Me: I love you too.
From then on, I was hooked. You were the first text I read waking up, the last before I went to sleep. I was so head-over-heels in love with this guy and I didn’t care who knew it! I was crazy about you, absolutely crazy.
We had a break for two months and I could honestly say that those were the worst two months of my life. In movies, they make it seem like all a girl would have to do is eat junk food and watch chick flicks, and she’d feel better. I was on the complete opposite side of that spectrum. I barely ate for two months. I spent all my spare time sleeping and crying. I was broken. Something was missing from my life: You.
The day you texted me after those two dreadful months felt like being accepted into Heaven on judgment day. Tears rushed down my face, and for the first time in a while, they were good tears. My happiness shone through my swollen eyes and it felt like for the first time, I had something real. I never wanted to let go of this moment. I was infinitely happy. You saved me.
And just like that, we were right back where we started. From that moment on, I’ve felt like a princess. You’ve always been my better half. To this day, I am still so overwhelmed with the love that you show me. You’re my best friend and the love of my life, and I’m so glad I get to go through this journey with you. Ethan- I love you, I love you, I love you. Happy 3 year anniversary.